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  • Bill and Nancy

May 2000

Updated: Feb 25, 2021

People think that dogs are dumb, but we are not. We know exactly what is going on at all times.

My folks put me on a strict diet before we flew over here, just to save a couple hundred bucks on my airfare. Now that we're in France, you can tell that they are feeling guilty. You should see all of the special treats that I am getting now. It almost makes up for the diet.

I am living in this great old farmhouse in the country. I love it here!! I can romp all over the giant backyard, and chase Moustache the cat.

Moustache lives in the house next to ours, and when their door is open I often pop in for a visit. There are great smells over there at meal time. I go over just to see what's up or more realistically what's down. They have lots of company, and I have learned from experience that the more company there is, the more food that ends up on the floor.

The same thing is beginning to happen at my house. I have noticed that when company comes over and the wine comes out, that people start talking with their hands. Soon food ends up on the floor. What's on the floor is mine, that's the rule at our house. I'm so happy to see friends stop by, and if I could, I would start serving the wine myself.

I have developed a real taste for French cheeses and patés. I prefer, of course, the strong cheeses, the smellier the better, and in patés, so far my preference is for the paté de lapin.

Even though I am eating all of these fattening treats, I still look slim and trim, because everyday I take a long walk. I really like these leashless walks. I can sniff my way across the fields, the smells here are finely aged, and when the mood strikes I can roll on my back and kick my legs in the air. La vie est belle!!

My folks are city people, and boy do they ask dumb questions about the farm animals. It is so embarrassing when they talk loud enough for the animals to hear. Can you imagine anyone asking, "Is that a goose? Do you think it can fly"? Or "Is that a cow or a bull", and the other one always says the same thing to these dumb farm questions, "I don't know". Boy, what they don't know about farm animals could fill a book. Maybe I should write one.

We just went on a neat vacation. It was way cool. We went to Spain and stayed on a sailboat in the Barcelona harbor. At night I sat at the helm while everyone slept, just to make sure we didn't run into anything.

During the day we walked all over Barcelona and I met lots of Spanish dogs. The Spanish dogs are really laid back, and I met dogs everywhere we went. They were all cool, just a quick sniff and adios, no hassles at all.

All of their folks really liked me, I know because I heard everyone say "Que Guapo". That made me hold my head higher and wag my tail more. I kind of hated to leave Spain.

But don't get me wrong, I love my life France. Since we flew over here, I go everywhere with my folks. And the best part is that when they go into a store, I get to go in too. No longer am I tied up to the parking meter out in front of the store. It's a great advancement in civilization.

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